Not Everyone Cries At A Funeral
Not Everyone Cries At A Funeral
Do you feel self-conscious at a funeral because you do not share the same sadness, distress, or anger as everyone else—even when the loss is close to your heart? Maybe you want to cry, scream, not care… and cannot, or do not. Maybe you won't. Everything feels all at once and nothing at all. You are not alone in those feelings and experiences. This does not mean the grief and loss did not have an impact or were not significant in some way for you. Some people process grief differently, and grieving is a process. There is no one stage that a person needs to be in at a given time. You can bargain, rage, feel numb and disoriented, deny that the person is gone, or even deny how much the loss is affecting you. Loss can devastate and relieve at the same time. You can feel all of it and not shed a tear.
Grief as a Process, Not a Performance
Processing grief is like creating art. The work takes time, presence, and a willingness to stay with the process for as long as it needs. There is no deadline to be met. There is no pressure to perform grief or to express your loss according to someone else's expectations. Your grief is yours to respond to in your own way. Someone may begin grieving with acceptance, another with denial, another with numbness. There is no single correct entry point. Processing grief is fluid and flexible. Your response comes from a place of emotional capacity, and it is okay if your capacity is not what you expected or wanted. The impact may also teach you something about how you respond to grief and how you grieve.
Being With What Is Present
To be still with the felt presence of grief does not mean being calm or in control. Being still means being with what presents itself. When you grieve with fluidity and flexibility, it can feel like breathing in air again and no longer pretending to breathe underwater. Being like a fish when you were a bird does not feel natural, yet grief can alter how we experience ourselves, others, and the world around us. Come to the surface again. Take in the air. Breathe. Sometimes a natural response to grief is simply to breathe and take the next step that prioritizes presence over performance. Grief is a felt presence, not a performance.
If You Are Navigating Grief or Loss
There is no right way to grieve. Some people cry openly. Others feel numb. Some experience anger, relief, confusion, or disbelief. Many move between emotions that seem contradictory or difficult to understand. Whatever your response, grief does not need to be performed to be real.
Art therapy offers a space to explore grief through both creative expression and conversation. Whether you are grieving the death of a loved one, navigating a significant life transition, carrying complicated emotions, or feeling disconnected from yourself, support is available.
Learn more about:
• Art Therapy for Grief and Loss
• Art Therapy for Children & Tweens
If you are curious about how art therapy may support you, I invite you to schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation to explore whether this approach feels like a good fit.
When words are not enough, support is still possible.
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