A Love Note For Memorial Day: A Reflection on Meaning and Memory of What We Hold Close

"For love of country they accepted death, and thus resolved all doubts, and made immortal their patriotism and their virtue." — James A. Garfield

This reflection is written in recognition of sacrifice, freedom, and the enduring costs carried by those who continue to protect, preserve, and provide the freedoms often revered within a country founded upon principles of life, liberty, and human dignity. By no means has this nation existed as a utopian egalitarian society or represented a fully humanitarian history in its conflicts, conquest, or preservation of these ideals. Yet many people continue to live by and uphold these principles, even as their interpretations and expressions may look different across generations and within current American life.

Perhaps this weekend is not only about Memorial Day itself, but also an opportunity to reflect on what memorialization means. What does it mean to preserve and protect what is most valuable to us? What makes enduring hardship, facing loss, or rising each day worthwhile? Consider one thing you value deeply—or perhaps three things you cherish most.

Memorialization, at its heart, is a tradition—and often a deeply personal ritual—of preserving the honor, memory, and meaning of sacrifice. The act of memorializing reflects the willingness of one person to offer something of themselves on behalf of another, often as an act of love, duty, protection, or devotion.

This is something every person can participate in—whether you are a soldier or know a soldier, part of a military family, from generations of first responders, the first in your line to serve, or simply a neighbor choosing to remain present and compassionate in an increasingly volatile world. We are all in service to one another, in many ways, and each person has the choice to choose acts of care, responsibility, sacrifice, and service toward others. To each according to their own ability and capacity.

The men and women who serve or have served deserve honor, remembrance, and gratitude. Those who commit themselves to military service, or who serve in support roles alongside military service, place their lives at risk in times of both war and peace. This honor also extends to first responders, law enforcement, and others who dedicate themselves to public service, regularly stepping into situations marked by crisis, danger, loss, and uncertainty in service to their communities.

Many of the freedoms people experience are made possible through the sacrifices, labor, and service of others. Human beings are deeply interdependent, relying on one another for what each can offer and what no single person can carry alone.

Not everyone will bear arms, endure the realities of war, or live with the lasting psychological impact of violence, trauma, and human suffering shaped by conflict, geopolitical instability, and struggles over power and resources. This is not a matter of good or bad; rather, we each live within the limits of our own abilities and capacities, none inherently greater or lesser than another. We are all in service to something in different ways, and the hope is that this service moves us toward what is life-giving and good rather than toward what is harmful and life-taking. Many in these roles and capacities are called to make decisions that most people will never have to consider or carry out. I hold hope for a future in which conflicts can be resolved without force or hidden agendas, yet our lived human experience asks for more than healed consciousness. We live within a world marked by brokenness. We see only a piece of reality, and the greater mysteries that we live in and recognize are still beyond human comprehension and capability.

This reflection is not intended to present a one-sided perspective, but rather to acknowledge the many layers and lived realities held within this holiday and the act of memorialization. Memorial Day and memorialization invite consideration of what it means to honor those who have sacrificed through unwavering perseverance and the willingness to continue in the face of death, danger, and loss.

We live in a volatile world. Some move toward danger so others may remain safe. Others relinquish their own security in the service of the safety and well-being of others. Others serve despite no immediate relief or resolution. Mystery may be a challenge, but it is not faced without a courageous heart and a posture of defiance in the face of evil acts.

I have family members, friends, and colleagues who have served, both past and present, and their work is worthy of honor, remembrance, and reflection. May we take time to recognize and remember those who carry this responsibility—through quiet acknowledgment, shared stories, and intentional gratitude. This Memorial Day weekend may be more than a moment of remembrance—it may also be an invitation to reflect on what memorialization means in your own life.

You might consider gently pausing with one question: What do you value deeply— what do you hold near and dear?

There is no need for immediate or polished answers, only honest reflection. Sometimes meaning becomes clearer not in certainty, but in the solemn act of observing and noticing what we choose to keep close. Clarity sits at the seat of resolve and courage in the home of the heart.

If this reflection brings up emotions, memories, or questions, art-making can be a space to explore them further.

The 3 Brushes offers a reflective, supportive environment for exploring grief, meaning, identity, and emotional experience through the creative process. If you’d like to reach out on behalf of yourself or someone else, feel free to reach out and connect to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.