When Summer Ends: Navigating Fall Transitions
When Summer Ends
When summer ends, the transition into a new season can bring more than one feeling at a time. Sometimes we're excited and anxious. Relieved and sad. Ready and resistant. For people living with grief or loss, the cultural and social expectation to feel, and perhaps even appear, excited about a new season can make the transition especially complicated. This is a reflective post for families, kiddos, and teens navigating the return to structured schedules, school, sports, activities, and the many changes that come with a new season.
Returning to “the usual” can hold both excitement and anxiety, along with all the thoughts and feelings that accompany this time of year. Fall is when most of us fall back into schedules we may or may not fully embrace after fun in the sun.
There are anticipated pockets of excitement: selecting new things for a new season, starting fresh with new clothes and shoes, backpacks, school supplies, and perhaps even a new haircut or a little extra sprucing up before returning to school or work after a much-needed vacation, holiday, or extended travel.
The long, languishing days of summer are coming to a close (though I’d like to think of September like an extended summer sometimes considering the heatwaves). This time of year sometimes comes with unexpected anxiety as well as relief, small uplifts and thrills, as well as chills, with cooler temperatures and the onset of fall’s captivation with bright colors on trees, pumpkin everything (sorry, not sorry, I don’t get the obsession with PSLs), and changes. A season many embrace and love for those things, while others may feel pangs of hurt because those things don't matter as they used to—or perhaps don't matter at all.
Fall Returns And So Does Change
Many may not be ready to transition back into fall, routines, school, work, or whatever else comes with the season, and that's okay. Fall is a seasonal reminder of change, and many do not embrace seasons of change with grace. Many are reminded of loss, of grief, and some are grieving through summer.
Transitions are natural, but that doesn't mean they’re easy. Some people welcome change; others resist or avoid it; and many of us fall somewhere in between. Transitions may be harder when summer was not so fun in the sun, or when there is pressure to feel and maintain a “sunnier disposition” when you simply don't feel that way.
The cultural or social expectation that summer—and warmer, sunnier, greener days—should be carefree can actually make grief or hardship feel more isolating.
Grieving during a time of year that seems all fun and games can feel especially lonely, out of balance, or out of place with what everyone else seems to be experiencing. Fall may seem more honest; seeing visual change may be even more heart-wrenching and soothing at the same time.
For some, fall can even seem to mirror the experience of loss: less light, changing landscapes, things becoming quieter or dormant. For others, those same changes may feel comforting, beautiful, or even hopeful. Personally, I love fall, but I am also reminded of my own losses during this time of the year; it’s bittersweet.
Back To School (and Work)
Some kiddos are beginning school for the first time: preschool, kindergarten, and for some, grade school. Making friends, learning more challenging material, and looking forward to a day, hopefully, filled with wonder of the world and what’s all in it and how it works. It’s going to be alright. Someone will bring birthday treats for the September babies soon!
Middle schoolers are entering into their own world. Some may feel a little more grown up knowing grade school is left behind, but also nervous about changing perspectives, more awareness of growing up, and recognizing school seems like a cakewalk compared to puberty. Both growing up and navigating middle school can be intimidating, but also kind of okay at the same time. Maybe a friend or two is in the same class so it doesn’t all suck.
High schoolers may care less (but probably a lot too). There’s likely a lot to handle from entering as a freshman or being prepared to leave as a senior or somewhere in between; high school starts the transitions towards college, university, trade schools, or right into the workforce or even, for some, a much-needed gap year (or two) to figure things out. The pressure doesn't have to be larger than it is. Things will get taken care of, and it'll work out in the end.
College students are starting orientations, setting up their dorm rooms, and figuring out if their roommates are worth rooming with this semester. The social calendar is just as full as the academic one, and some are juggling a part-time job and other commitments alongside a full day. Savor all the moments, whether you’re just beginning or this is the final year before graduation.
For the adults, most of us have been at this (whatever this is: work, parenting, more school maybe for some) long enough to even remember what beginnings look like, unless it’s another project, assignment, or simply the usual. Another “as per my last email”, another meeting that could have been an email, and the endless pursuit of a dwindling to-do list that somehow never ends because it keeps adding more. Whatever this is, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to have a full life you don’t need to apologize for. The naysayers aren’t paying your bills or breathing your air, so chill; some things are probably all good, even when they’re not so good sometimes.
A Good Word
Whatever season you are in—a season of change, transitions, and life happenings—we can all use some encouragement and affirmation. Returning to schedules, routines, or some semblance of structure is itself a transition, and transitions can carry a lot of meaning: excitement, resistance, grief, relief, and uncertainty—sometimes all at once.
Here are a few quotes about change and transitions. Whichever ones speak to you, keep them:
“For a conscious being, to exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” — Henri Bergson, Creative Evolution (1907), trans. Arthur Mitchell (1911).
“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.” — Mary Shelley, Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus (1818).
“The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.” — Kakuzō Okakura, The Book of Tea (1906).
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” — Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986), written and directed by John Hughes
“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.” — Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower (1999)
“Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time. What we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.” — Sydney J. Harris
Take good care. For anyone who reads this, it’s going to be okay, even when it’s not. Change can bring growth opportunities, but it can also ask us to pause, adapt, grieve, and honor the season we are actually in.
When Change Meets Support
I support people who are grieving and living with loss. I offer a compassionate, creative space for navigating difficult and sometimes conflicting experiences, including relational trauma, emotional overwhelm, and life transitions. My work as an art therapist is grounded in the belief that trust, compassion, and the possibility of growth are essential parts of the therapeutic process.
A new season does not have to be rushed. Sometimes it asks us to honor what has happened, make room for what is changing, and find ways to move forward at a pace that feels possible. If you are seeking support as you make sense of grief, loss, or a changed reality, art therapy can offer—especially when words alone do not feel like enough.
This post reflects a personal perspective. It is intended for reading and educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized mental health or medical care.
When you feel ready, The 3 Brushes, LLC provides in-person art therapy for children and tweens, teens, and adults in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Explore my services or schedule a complimentary 20-minute consultation to consider whether this approach feels like a good fit.
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When words are not enough, support is still possible.
